When spouses intervene in congressional offices, their influence can be either valued or resented. In some cases, the spouse and the staff view each other as natural enemies competing over access to the same limited resource — the Member. Mistrust and tension between spouses and staff can hurt morale and keep the spouse from effectively contributing to the office’s goals. Here we outline some ways to develop a constructive relationship and minimize problems between the office and spouse.

Key Ingredients to a Constructive Relationship

We have found that the key ingredient to a constructive working relationship between spouses and staff is an explicit understanding between the Member and spouse. Specifically the Member and the spouse must come to agreement on four critical questions:

1. How should the Member balance time between personal and professional demands? After an agreement has been reached, it is essential that the Member, and not the spouse communicates the understanding to the staff and polices it.

2. What role should the spouse play in the office? CMF has found that involving the spouse in annual office planning process can be very useful. Spouses can offer constructive insights about local politics and the strengths and weaknesses of the Member. In addition, providing the spouse input into key strategic decisions frequently reduces the spouse’s need to be involved in the smaller day-to-day matters.

3. What is a legitimate request for spouses to make to staff? Because there is no broad consensus on this question, it is again essential that the Member and spouse reach and understanding rather than placing staff in the difficult situation of having to tell spouses that they refuse to comply with a request.

4. What information and how much of it should the spouse receive from the staff? Developing a regular communication system can and should be negotiated by the spouse and staff. The key staff who regularly speak with the spouse should meet and determine what information the spouse would like to receive. Finally, it is important the spouse and staff develop a rapport.

Scheduling Issues Related to the Member's Spouse/Partner/Family

Problems between the Member's spouse/partner/family and staff are most likely to become apparent around the schedule. This is understandable: both sides are in competition for a precious resource — the Member's time. To staff, the more time you spend on business the better. Your family, for their part, want only some reasonable facsimile of a normal life.

Minimizing this conflict is only possible if you deal with it. Addressing the following issues up-front will create a framework for family/staff interaction that reduces conflict and tension.

1. Clarify the roles and outline procedures for family input. If the family's role is left vague, confusion and frustration will ensue. The types of questions to address are: Does the family get veto authority over scheduling decisions, or only the opportunity to raise concerns? Should the family review all invitations at the front end of the process or be consulted only on specific matters? Family input into the process is often more crucial to district/state scheduling as this cuts into the most precious family time — weekends and congressional recesses.
2. Foster a comfortable relationship between the Scheduler and the family. The Scheduler should communicate with the family often. The Scheduler, not the Member, Chief of Staff, or District/State Director, knows the schedule best and is in the best position to provide accurate information. At a minimum, the family should receive the schedule as soon as it's available with enough time for staff to answer their questions or address their concerns.
3. Block out important dates and family events. Some Schedulers mark all family birthday and anniversary dates in the Member's calendar each year, just as any other event would be noted. All scheduling requests are then discussed in the context of those family occasions. Schedulers should also ask the family to notify the office of other events as soon as possible, such as vacations, parent–teacher conferences, etc.
4. Establish clear limits on the family's claim to the Scheduler's services. Inappropriate and unethical family demands on staff are most likely to come to the Scheduler, who must be supported in attempts to deflect them. At the same time, some Schedulers make inappropriate offers of assistance to spouses/partners — because they view their jobs as "making life easier for the Member."

Excerpted from Chapter 15, "Strategic Scheduling," in CMF's Setting Course: A Congressional Management Guide.